Notes to myself

Excerpts from a book called "Notes to myself" by 'Hugh Prather':

"There is a part of me that wants to write, a part that wants to theorize, a part that wants to sculpt, a part that wants to teach... To force myself into a single role, to decide to be just one thing in life would kill off large parts of me."

"If I work toward an end, meantime I am confined to a process."

"Because the results are unpredictable, no effort of mine is doomed to failure. And even a failure will not take the form I imagine. 'It will be interesting to see what happens' is a more reaslistic attitude toward future consequences than worry."

"I am convinced that this anxiety running through my life is the tension between what I 'should be' and what I am. My anxiety does not come from thinking about the future but wanting to control it."

"Meaning changes with the context. My meaningfulness is here. Its enough that I am of comfort to someone today. Its enough that I make a difference now."

"Boredom or discontent is useful to me when I acknowledge it and see clearly my assumption that there's something else I would rather be doing. In this way boredom can act as an invitation to freedom by opening me to new options and thoughts."

I saw many negative feelings inside me that I didn’t want, and yet I felt that I must express them if I were going to be myself.

When I acknowledge my feelings they become more positive. And they change when I express them. For example, if I tell a man that I don’t like him, I usally like him better.

My not wanting to express a negative feelings is a feeling itself, a part of me, and if I want not to express the negative feeling more than I do, then I will be acting more like myself by not expressing it."