me...n my world...

Being a slave of my own solitude....Sitting in my room...alone.... makes me happy!!!These are the few moments I live as myself. Otherwise.... uh.... I'm expert in pretending.....

And to make it a perfect solitude, this is what I on the bottom wanted...my cup of perfectly strong masala chai...without sugar....and my cosy velvet blanket!!!!

I am not too sure!!!
Opened my laptop. I love the sound my fingers make on these keyboards. Beat of the heart and the *thug thug* on keyboard makes it a par superior song than any.

I fear writing with inky pens on white papers....My tears may wipe down my life in them. I don’t want that to happen. That's why I like the concept of typing....I bet on my tear, dare you wipe this out!

Recalling the days when I was younger... The age when I only thought of just dictating whatever I want...
As life unwinds....I started of dreaming...started wishing...thoughts about me and my world...Yes...... My dreams, my wishes… me and my world..... The never ending alternates.
Fragrance on my hands still remains....It makes me crazy....unable to define the feeling.....My olfactory nerves awaken by the mystic discharge trying to reach the core...

I want to capture the whole essence before it leaves my hands...I am creating a world around it... building a castle...based on a solemn dream touched by this essence.....
Still trying to capture this....... to its last molecule. I wish this remains forever.......at least the elegant odour.
I am eagerly waiting for the next beautiful moment.......the one which spreads this fragrance all over my hands..... again.. ...again… and again.
My dreams, my wishes… me and my world....

...who to blame!!!!

I am becoming weird...lazy i suppose...for everything!!! I am having a pretty bad feeling at heart. Dont know abt what. Something that is pulling my heart or myself inside. I know I am happy I know I am fine, I know I know, but I dont know what is this!!! What my mind wants to feel, to know, to see. I didnt find the solitude I searched for....May be I never will!!!
It is a misconception, a dream, a feeling. Even though I know all these things, I still feel there is something which I fear or I love to fall in. I dont have anything to blame or anyone to blame for this. I cannot even blame me because there is no point or need for me to think or force my mind towards that. This is creating a big void in my mind. I dont find a way to express this. Blame it on my mind. We are becoming two......